Love hole

i just read in today's Columbus Dispatch that Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are now a couple.

for a brief moment, i lost all the respect i had for Rourke.

then i realized that the man is damaged. and like always, when she see's a damaged man who is seemingly successful, Courtney Love skanked her way onto his lap so she can suck his blood like a succubus.

i'm guessing it was the scene in the Wrestler when he called Kurt Cobain an asshole. i'm willing to put money that she saw that scene and thought, "a man after my own heart."

what a fucking cunt-rag.

to this day, i've never understood why people defend her. she's a junkie, a shitty mom, a murderer (if she didn't pull the trigger, which seems very likely given the evidence, she certainly drove him to do it), and a no-talent hack.

musical talent = none. acting talent = none. personality = none. looks = none. personal growth = none. taste = none. relevence = none.

i will giver her this; she is somewhat intelligent. getting away with killing her husband, then stealing his career, then fucking every record executive and drunk/drugged rockstar who would touch her heel-skag ass, then getting a role as a junkie prostitute in a huge movie... i mean, that is pretty impressive. you can't be stupid and be able to do all that.

or it could all be luck.

i mean, could someone who looks like horny scientists shaved a chimpanzee, bleached its hair, smeared hooker-red lipstick all over its face, then taught it to take dick in every hole for treats, really be all that intelligent?

she sold millions of records though.. oh wait, it is cliche to say that the majority of people are incredibly stupid, right?

and now her claws are in poor, fucked up, deranged, damaged, Mickey Rourke. hasn't the poor guy had enough pain in his life? now he has to get syphilis, herpes and a fucking leech sucking what's left of his life away?

doesn't he have friends? couldn't Steve Guttenberg give him some helpful advice?

Album Review: Railcars

Railcars - Cities vs Submarines
written and performed by aria jalali*
recorded and produced by jamie stewart
engineered by jamie stewart and shaw waters
mastered by thomas dimuzio
album artwork by claudia o'steen (claudia_osteen@yahoo.com)

*(tracks 2 and 4 - some percussion / mandolin: jamie stewart)
*(track 5 - glockenspiel: dasha bulatova)

(Myspace)

Railcars is a one-man-band out of San Francisco. I know, I know, you're asking yourself 'why are you reviewing a band from San Fran, dude?' But it's been tough getting out to any shows lately and these guys (err... guy) were was nice enough to send me this 5 song EP with album art and photos and stuff.

Some background for you: These songs were recorded in the kitchen of Jamie Stewart, whom some of you may know from the band Xiu Xiu.

from the liner notes Aria sent me...
"cities vs submarines is a ten minute journey into aria jalali's most vivid, reoccurring dreams. railcars is an attempt to bring the images that have haunted aria's mind to life using drum boxes, synths, and noise pedals with sentiments recreated in lyrical form.

the current four member lineup for railcars' live performances was established by jalali when asked to play some shows with handsome furs in april 2008, however aria jalali mostly perfors railcars sets by himself, with only a laptop, guitar, a few boss loop station pedals, an ipod shuffle, some radio wires, some noise pedals and some broken keyboards."


I gotta respect a guy who does it all himself.


Full Review:
There is Ice; It is Blue - This song consists of ridiculous amounts of synthesized electronic noise. I'm pretty sure I heard a cell-phone ring tone layered in there somewhere. The singer (if you can call it singing on this track) sounds like an angry drunk trying to convince someone that they are an asshole by yelling and puking at the same time. I liked this track. the louder you play it, the better it sounds.

Saints are Waiting for Me (Outside my door) - this song has a good amount of electric noise, and a driving drum beat. However, I just can't get into it as much as There is Ice. It seems disposable; in fact, it is about 30 seconds longer than There is Ice, yet it seems to be over a minute shorter. I can't put my finger on it, but this song is missing something; like trying to bake a cake when you forgot to throw eggs into the mixing bowl.

Concrete Buildings - The first song with recognizable guitars. This is very Strokes-like, which isn't necessarily good or bad. I guess that is a matter of personal taste. Simple beat behind it, the vocals sound like they are underwater, which is actually kinda cool. The best part is the ending; the song closes with this noise that sounds like some sort of electrical device being shut off. Jesus, that was a vague description. Think of the sound an old camera flash makes when it charges up - then imagine that sound in reverse.

Through the Trees Lay Smokestacks - 48 seconds of eerie coolness. I wish this was longer. It's just so... weird. In fact, I'm gonna play it again right now.

Bohemia is Without a Sea - An upbeat track with perhaps the greatest amount of lyrical content on the whole EP. This might be my favorite song out of the 5. There is a lot of stuff going on but not enough to be considered excessive to the point of detracting from the song.


Capsule review: An interesting listen with some unique ideas. Play it loud when drinking PBR or Heinekin at your scenester friends' house.

4 Song Review: Your Favorite Assassin

(Myspace)
(Official Page)
I first saw Your Favorite Assassin a few years ago at the Billiard Club. Later, I saw them play an opening slot at Cafe Bourbon Street. At the Billiard Club, they played a fine cover of Peaches' "Fuck the Pain Away." I honestly don't remember any of the songs they played at Cafe Bourbon Street, but I remember thinking that they had a more dynamic stage presence there than at the Billiard Club. Their live show is fast paced and pretty exciting. A lot of that has to do with their Frontwoman, known as the DBK. Their Myspace page lists their impressive influences (Notables: Bad Brains, the Dwarves, X, New Bomb Turks, Brainiac). They have a couple singles recorded and 1 full length album and an EP out now, with another full length due out this fall. I recommend checking them out if you can catch a live show.

Resistor
This song is fast and furious. DBK's vocals are loud and fuzzy (both are good things) and backed by... well I'm not entirely sure, but I'll assume it is Mike the guitarist. Heavy guitars and drums through the whole song. The chorus sees the female lead wailing like a banshee with the male back-up singing behind her. I'm not a fan of that style (it seems too close to Linkin Park rap-rock to me), personally, I would rather just hear the chick scream. Bass is drowned out, which is unfortunate, but you honestly won't miss it. A fast dirty track, I could listen to this a few times in a row. In fact, I just did.

Deeper the Wounds
A slower, acoustic song. Not indicative of their other work. This song is has elements of the aforementioned 'X' in it. Unfortunately, it is kind of generic. The subject matter of the lyrics is nothing new. Everything you know is a lie, everyone you know will betray you, yadda yadda yadda. However, the recording is crisp and clear. I can see this song being a favorite for disaffected teenagers who have yet to come to grips with the fact that life sucks.

Like a Saint
This song reminds me of the glory days of 80's metal. I'm sure my metal purist friends may disagree, but the vocals and breakdowns just have a badass-ness that I can't quite put my finger on. Probably the singing. You don't hear too much actual singing in heavy songs anymore. It's either raspy screaming or dog-fart grunting. The bass is loud and clear, and the guitar compliments the singing. Good stuff. Like if DRI teamed up with Lita Ford.

Blood Oranges
The singing at the beginning of this song is ok, but what really caught me is when her voice got quiet about 20 seconds in. The transition from upper-register to the low, near whisper was very much like Jucifer (who are bad ass btw). This song seems like it was recorded as an experiment in using different vocal effects. FX aside, Blood Oranges shows the range of the singer and along with Like a Saint, really shows how powerful her voice can be.

4 Song Review: Verner Caliper

Veteran Columbus rockers Verner Caliper seem to be a local enigma; they've been playing together for over 13 years and have yet to produce a full length album. They are also producing some of the most original rock songs that you (yes, YOU) have recently heard. Several of their songs are posted on their website vernercaliper.com, but to get a true sense of their sound, you must see their live show.


Background

The recorded version of this song found on their site is a few years old. It is charming at times, but tends to drag on a bit. The current version of the song however, is something to behold. This song reminds me of an old steam engine. It starts with a slight jolt and quickly finds its chugging rhythm, pounding steadily down the track. The older version of the song arrives safely at the next station, but in its current incarnation, the train loses control and settles into a barreling rampage. It does eventually reach the station, but the passengers are shaking and the conductor is drunk.


Collapse

This song is still one of VC's staples even after 10 years. It begins soft and sensitive with a chiming, almost hypnotic guitar riff. The drums and bass join in and soon we are on a march to musical freedom, at least until the chorus rips our heads off. The maturity of this song is impressive, especially having been written in high school.


Cut and Dried

This catchy, fun little ditty will have you tapping a foot and maybe bobbing a head. Its high energy, feel-good rebelliousness, and 2 minute length will leave you wanting more.


In Response

While not technically a "new" song, this song is "newer" in terms of the Verner Caliper timeline. The opening electric riff is accompanied by a twelve string acoustic which combine for a haunting effect. If I had to compare this song to any other band it would probably be Rush, simply because of the complexity of the material, the timing changes, and the chops to pull it off. Songs like this just aren't made very often.